Thursday, October 20, 2005

Bad manners

As everyone who's read this blog knows, I am constantly puzzled by Ina Garten. On the one hand her recipes are fabulous, she loves gay men, and her kitchen is drool-worthy. On the other hand she has that annoying laugh, her lifestyle is firmly ensconced in the too rich to be relatable category and her friends are uptight and stiff and tend to take their own jokes too seriously. So it was with these mixed feelings I was reading her "Barefoot COntessa Parties" book. I think it reveals what a crazy, co-dependent people-pleaser Ina is. The message of the entire book is to never let your friends know how stressed you are. This is a fine piece of advice up to a point. And that point is when your friends start acting like obnoxious asses. And so I give you this lovely anecdote from Ina:

"Several years ago my 'cool' was really tested. One summer Sunday, I invited eight friends for lunch. A few days before, four people who were coming together said they had an emergency and couldn't come. No problem: I cut back my shopping list and decided to serve lunch in the kitchen.

An hour before the party, two of the people who had conceled earlier called and said they could come after all, was it all rigght? 'Sure,' I said, and sent my husband for some more rolls and lobster salad. Two other guests arrived at the door and said, 'I have a friend in the car, can she come, too?' Now we were up to ten people."

Who pulls this shit? No, seriously, who pulls this shit? I hate to tell you this ina, but you have the most inconsiderate friends on earth. They totally jerked your chain. First they cancel (which is fine since they have her several days notice), but then, with almost no advance notice they decide to come anyway? Even worse what atrocious "friend" decides to fuck up a host's planning and bring extra guests? And these guests were waiting in the car. What if the host was not as co-dependent and said no? You'd be up shit creek.

What does Emily Post say about such behavior?

From the Emily Post Institute:

"Changing a ‘no’ to a ‘yes’ is OK only if it will not upset the hosts’ arrangements."

“May I bring… Don’t even ask! An invitation is extended to the people the hosts want to invite—and no one else."

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