I swear I am doing a recap of the first Nigella Feasts episode, but that's slow going mainly because I can't find more ways to say how gorgeous and witty she is. In the meantime, I wanted to talk a little about my OTHER favorite show on tv - Grey's Anatomy.
Somehow I read a certain unnamed blog about a guy who think's he's a "nice guy" - in that "girls don't date me because they want a bad boy" way. I really hope this guy doesn't read this entry, but if he does, I stand by every word I say. Recently he wrote the that best way to approach women is to think that you are better than them because his previous approach was to act as if THEY were better than HIM. And that is the core of his crazy ass dysfunction - acting as if women are some alien species that he as a cultural anthropologist need to figure out. He never wants to entertain the fact that the women he pursues might want the same thing he does - a hottie. When someone on his blog comments that maybe he is going for the total hotties and suggests that he keep an eye out for the less hot, he either deletes their comments or comes up with the stock reply of - I'm attracted to who I am attracted to. That's fine as long as you stop condemning women for being attracted to men other than yourself and consequently explaining it away with an excuse that women just want bad boys. Could it be that the women you are mooning after, like you, want the hottie? And could you effing give them and all the women of the world a break and let them like who they want to like without it being a condemnation of an entire gender. Let's get this straight buddy. The world does not owe you a hot girlfriend just because you are a "nice guy." And the real key to this is to stop acting as if women are these puzzles you need to figure out. Women I know overlook the geeky guy next door for the hottie down the street. Women I know like to have a wingman (wingperson?) at bars to facilitate hooking up. Women I know like sports, quote Monty Python, have sex with people just for the hell of it (not naming names) and pull away when they feel emotionally vulnerable.
What does this have to do with Grey's Anatomy? The show treats both genders as if they are PEOPLE - individuals who can be alternately giving, closed off, insecure, neurotic, confused, and confusing. Look at the Burke/Christina relationship. Burke is the emotionally open one, pushing for more intimacy and Christina is the one who needs to open up. Look at what they've done with the Meredith/McDreamy/McVet triangle. McDreamy finally becomes free to commit to Meredith and what does she do? Dither over two potentials. Kinda what McDreamy did to her right? Finally look at George and Callie. George spends much of the first two seasons mooning after Meredith, who is chasing after the hottie. Once Callie came along, did George learn from the shitty way he was treated and resolve not to dick another person around? Hell no. The man is incompetent at expressing himself and is leading someone who clearly (if dysfunctionally) loves him. That's the thing that Grey's Anatomy gets so well. We're all complicated. We all at one time in another have been crushing hard on someone or have had someone crush hard on us. As much as we'd like to think if the shoe is on the other foot, we'd do it better, we don't.
Next entry - Nigella.